Three very simple, yet very complicated, words that come together to form one of the greatest feelings that everyone strives to have in their little lives.
Is there a feeling beyond “love”?
Is there some other word that I can use to describe all the things that I’m feeling?
Is there a way to describe how it makes my heart stop when I read the words,
“Come Home” from her?
What about when she asks me, and agrees with me, about “Do you think we could make this work? Can you see yourself meeting me down the middle at our wedding? Can you see yourself carrying children with me?” The insinuation of anything that extreme being “ours” is exhilarating and starts a storm in my heart.
My heart stops for a moment, every moment we talk, and it forgets how to beat when she says things like,
Me: “Think of the positives! You get to come home to your daughter and your ride or die girl.”
Her: “And my beautiful girl.”
“Just because you’re not my girlfriend, doesn’t mean I don’t consider you my girl.”
Is there a way to describe… just how we feel? Or how I feel?
When she looks at me with her husky blue eyes, I instantly notice something is on her mind. It’s easy to feel when she’s upset, sad, mad, angry, or bothered. Is there a simple word that can help me say that I can feel her pain, even before she tells me there is any pain? Is there some easy way to get across just how intoxicating her kiss is? How it says so much with just a simple brush across my lips? What about her touch! How gentle and protective it is. How instantly safe I feel when she caresses my body. Can I put this in a way people will easily understand just how blissfully happy I am when we’re laying in bed, staring into each others souls through our eyes, and talking about the smallest, most important things to our hearts? Is there any way to say how it makes tears come to my eyes whenever you remember something from 3-years ago?
Is there any way out there to explain the sharp pains I feel when I can’t take away her nightmares? Is there anyone out there that can easily tell me how easy it is to describe the sadness I take in when she’s sad? Is there a way to describe just how easy it is for me to feel every bit of pain, sickness, and sadness that she feels? And of course, her happiness. It’s like a drug I’m addicted to.
My words seem to fail me when we talk about our views on how we want to raise our children in the future, what kind of wedding and wedding rings we want, and what kind of home we want for our future families. Low key, I think I need her. My heart is hers. Since December 13th, 2009. That date, we didn’t realize what we were getting ourselves into by saying a simple,
“Hello, I’m ___”
“HI! I’m ___! Nice to meet you!”
Friendship was suddenly out of the question on January 27th when that question arose, and our lives changed from that point on.
Do I think we can make it? Yes, and not just because I want to more than anything in this world, but because I truly do believe that if we can survive everything we’ve survived, and still come together at the end of the day and say I love you because all we want to do is see each other, then I think we can survive anything.
Apart, we’re strong, and happy.
Together, we’re even stronger as a team and just that much happier. It’s hard right now, and it has been for the past week, but when we come together as team mates, everything is perfect, even if everything is falling apart around us.
Can somebody tell me, what is this?