“I can’t sleep.” Addison texted Melissa. It didn’t take Melissa long to respond. It never takes her long to respond to Addison during the late hours of the night,
"Neither can I. Come over? I’ll take you to work in the morning. You can drive."
"Can you handle my crying?" Addison’s sleeping problems have progressed. She weeps tear, after tear while she slumbers. A couple weeks ago, when Addison stayed at Melissa’s, Addison began to cry in her sleep. She cried hard, and Melissa grew mad. Addison hasn’t slept at Melissa’s since due to embarrassment,
"That shit hasn’t stopped?" Melissa responded. Addison sighed sadly as she wrote her response,
"No. Its worse, Melissa."
"Get over here. I have an idea."
"…What’s your idea?"
"You’ll see. Just come in when you get here. See ya in a bit."
Addison felt skeptical about going over. Melissa is the extravagant kind of person that will do anything to make the people she genuinely likes happy. Addison didn’t think she was someone that Melissa genuinely liked enough to have ideas on how to help her. Truth be told, Addison was frightened to go to Melissa’s, but she did anyway.
Not like she was going to get any sleep alone, might as well take up the company offer. To Addison, she enjoys feeling the presence of another while she sleeps. To an extent, it allows her to feel safe.
Addison pulled up to Melissa’s house, and parked her car on the far right of the garage. Addison searched her glove box for the garage door opener, and pulled her car slowly into the garage. Melissa’s Jaguar hid inside the right side of the garage. Addison has acquired the left side of the garage after spending two weeks with Melissa.
Once Addison grabbed her bags, and unlocked the garage door, she was instantly greeted by Shiloh, Melissa’s Siberian Husky puppy,
"Hey, Loh!" Addison said in a high octave voice, as if she was talking to an infant. Shiloh wagged her tail calmly, and stared up at Addison with admiration. Addison is the only one Shiloh listens to perfectly. With everyone else that attempts to order her around, she gives them ‘attitude’ and takes her time performing the command. With, Addison, she obeys instantly. Shiloh followed closely behind, Addison, into the living room, where, Addison, set her things down,
"Come say hello, my love bug! I’ve missed you!" Addison held her arms wide out, and Shiloh instantly ran into her like the puppy that she is. Addison smiled, genuinely smiled.
"I see you’ve missed her more than you’ve missed me. That’s a little pathetic." Melissa’s voice leaked down into the living room from the overlooking staircase. Addison looked up at Melissa, who was wearing nothing but a short, black, Victoria’s Secret robe, and red bottom heels. Her blonde hair was let down, and wavy. Her eye makeup was painted on like a beautiful piece of art. She stood leaning forward over the railing. Her lips were glued into a seductive grin.
"I’ve missed you, too." Addison mumbled into Shiloh’s fur.
"Yeah, yeah. When you’re done making love to my dog-daughter, come upstairs so I can entertain you."
"Entertain me?" Addison repeated in an inaudible voice. The way Melissa’s voice sounded, seductive, yet irritated, frightened Addison,
"Which means now, my whore." Melissa shouted from her bedroom. Addison’s heart beat picked up, and she felt as if she were going to regurgitate, but she obeyed, Melissa’s, order, as she has done since High school. Shiloh stayed down at the bottom of the stairs,
"You’re a smart kid." Addison whispered to Shiloh before making it all the way upstairs.
Addison walked cautiously through the all familiar doors that was, Melissa’s, room. Her lights were turned off. On top of her dresser, and nightstands, she lit, Addison’s favorite red candles. The ominous light from the candles painted the room with the red off her curtains. Her bed was folded into place the way that, Addison, always folded it. The canopy drape was let down over the bed, hiding the devious ideas that, Melissa, had for the night secretively behind it. Melissa sat on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed over one another, bouncing her foot in the air impatiently. Her figure was fuzzy behind the laced canopy drape,
"Took you long enough." Melissa laughed through her words. Addison walked in front of, Melissa. Melissa smiled devishly, and looked up at, Addison, with her green eyes,
"I’m starting to believe you only ever come over now, because of, Shiloh. Good thing I got the one you liked, or else I would probably never see you."
Addison forced a smile on her face. Melissa stood up, and took a step forward, causing their bodies to touch,
"I do not like you like this. You don’t speak anymore, and do you don’t compliment me anymore. You’re no fun." Melissa pouted,
"I’m sorry? What do you want me to say?" Addison asked with an attitude, and furrowed brow,
"Relax, baby. Relax. I want you back to your normal self. The self that liked me, and made me feel special all the time."
"Sorry to tell you, Melissa, but I am not into you enough to do that for you, anymore, and I am way to sad to focus on someone else." Addison said angrily,
"Oh my god, are you really still hung up on her?" Melissa flung her arms in the air in frustration and fell backwards onto the bed. Addison bit her lip hard, and stayed quiet. Anger boiled inside her stomach, and fear chilled her body. She felt an argument was about to start,
"You know what, Melissa, this was a bad idea. Thank you for having me over, but I’m going to leave." Addison started to walk away, but, Melissa, grabbed, Addison’s, forearm and yanked her back to the bed,
"You can have discussions with your whore; you can have discussions with me."
"Don’t you dare refer to her as a whore, Melissa. You have no justification to be calling her a whore. If we are going to discuss this, we will do it like adults. Not children. You will not insult her, do you understand me?" Addison said sternly,
"Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my boss."
"And you have no right to insult a person you’ve never met."
"Why the hell are you still fighting for her, and defending her?" Melissa raised her voice,
"Melissa, even if I tried to explain it you the best I could, you wouldn’t understand." Addison sighed,
"I wouldn’t understand what? Being in love? Baby, I’ve been in love, and it’s the worst feeling in the world."
"You make the worst actions, like cheating, justifiable, and you have the audacity to sit here, and tell me, of all people, that one of the best feelings in the world is the worst?" Addison shouted,
"It’s the worst, because you always fall for someone who isn’t in love with you, and it breaks your heart. Take a look at you, and that girl. Look at you, and tell me how you feel." Addison fell silent, and looked down at the floor. Embarrassment turned her cheeks red,
"We’re having a discussion, Addison. Tell me. How do you feel? You’re the one in love. How is it in there?" Melissa pressed on rudely,
"You really want to know how it feels? Will knowing how miserable I am satisfy you, finally?" Addison asked angrily,
"Yes, it will be the most satisfying thing you’ve given me since senior year. Tell me all about how shitty you feel."
"It hurts. I feel alone. I feel empty. My heart is in so much pain right now. All I want to do is cry. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to be around anyone. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I’m jealous of everything, and everyone. I am terrified to lose her to everyone. I can’t fucking sleep, because I’m thinking of her too much, and when I do finally go to sleep, it’s only because I cry myself to the point where my body can’t stay awake any longer." Tears streamed down Addison’s face, "I am too damn sad to eat. I have no motivation to go out and run, or take my damn dog for a walk. I don’t have any motivation to write any damn thing. I don’t have any good days anymore, because I’m always sad. Every single thing I encounter when I am out, I think of her, and it suddenly makes me sad. All I want to do is cry, and all I feel is anger." Addison finished with dropping her face into her hands. Melissa sat next to, Addison, and scratched her back,
"Then why the fuck are you still there for her!" Melissa shouted,
"Because," Addison’s voice grew quiet, and more sad, "When I’m with her, or I hear her voice, all of that pain goes away. I don’t feel alone. I’m not scared to lose her to somebody else. I don’t get angry at our distance, or jealous of everything. I am motivated to write amazing tales, simply for her to read, and smile at. When I am with her, I’m happy. When I hear her voice, I’m calm. I have no doubts, because when I am with her, I can see right through her. I know exactly what is happening."
"Is it all worth it?" Melissa whispered,
"Yes." Addison answered without hesitation,
"Why!" Melissa yelled with a frustrated sigh,
"You won’t understand. You never understand."
"Please. Nobody understands your ass."
"This is why I never talk to you about anything serious." Addison mumbled,
"Right. I’m only good to be with when you feel alone because of her."
"Stop. You’re a good friend."
"Great." Melissa mumbled, "That’s all I will ever be to you." Melissa added on angrily,
"You know what, yes. That is all you’ll ever be to me, Melissa!" Addison shouted, "You are most definitely not the one I want a relationship with. You are not the one I want to build a life with. You are not the one I want to meet at the end of the walkway at a wedding. You are not the one I want to move anywhere in the world with. You’re not the one I want kids with. You are not the one I want to wake up to every morning, and fall asleep next to each night. You are not the one, Melissa!" Addison yelled. She was on her feet now, pacing back and forth. Melissa stopped in, Addison’s, path, took her face, and pulled her into a slow, passionate kiss. Melissa’s freshly glossed lips slid across, Addison’s.
Melissa is the queen of seduction. She is capable of so much, and she knows how to use the power she has. A simple kiss, a gentle touch, is nothing more than a deadly poison. A spell that renders broken hearts to her will. Addison has been poisoned one too many times before by, Melissa.
As the kissing increased, Melissa pushed, Addison back to the canopy bed. Once, Addison was on her back, she instantly opened her eyes, and turned her head away from, Melissa’s, kiss.
"What the hell?" Melissa pulled back, “You have never pulled away from kissing.”
"I do not want to do this with you."
"Yes you do." Melissa giggled. Melissa’s eyes were dark with greed, and her body was tense. Fear filled, Addison’s heart,
"Please, let me go." Addison said calmly,
"No. You’re going to stay here with me, and you’re going to sleep with me. It’s what we both have wanted since junior year." Melissa held, Addison’s, face in place while she leaned down to kiss her again. Addison turned her head away, and pushed, Melissa, off to the side. Addison quickly got to her feet, and headed for the door. Melissa grabbed her arm, and yanked her back,
"You’re staying." She ordered as she pushed, Addison, back to the bed.
"Don’t put your hands on me." Melissa squeezed, Addison’s, arm tight, and shook her head,
"I’m going to do whatever I want; my house, my rules."
"Melissa, what’s wrong with you?" Addison’s eyes filled with tears as she fumbled backwards onto the bed. Melissa straddled, Addison, and Addison shoved her sideways,
"I said no, Melissa." Addison shouted weakly,
"You’ll fuck a whore who lies to you, says all these nice fairy tale things, but then doesn’t give you the time of day, but you won’t fuck me? Of all people?"
"I am not interested in you! You are not relationship material!" Addison shouted in frustration, "You’re a cheater, and a liar. You play with people, and you let them down!"
"Sounds like the girl you’re in love with, so what’s the damn difference?"
"Shut up! You are so much worse than she is." The second those words left, Addison’s, mouth, Melissa, slapped, Addison, hard. Addison’s face turned red, and the sting brought instant tears. While, Addison, was still in shock from being slapped, Melissa pushed her on her back, and straddled her. Addison squirmed underneath her, but it was no use. Melissa took, Addison’s, hands and pinned them to her side. Melissa’s lips slid across, Addison’s, neck. She bit down, and nipped in all the right places, but all, Addison, could do was cry and try to squirm away,
“Melissa, please don’t do this.” Addison cried quietly,
“Stop being a baby, and give in. You know you’ve wanted to sleep with me since we’ve met. What’s the big deal now? That stupid-”
“I hate you.” Addison whispered. Those three words stung, Melissa, and she froze. Addison has always said things to, Melissa that were uplifting, and complimenting. Never has she ever said anything that hurt, Melissa,
“I hate that girl of yours for turning you into a miserable little bitch.” Melissa snapped with tears in her eyes. Melissa got to her feet, kicked off her heels, and walked to the bedroom door, shutting it quietly. Addison quickly jumped off the bed, and stood next to the bare wall, afraid to move. Melissa walked to, Addison, while peeling off her robe, revealing black, lacy lingerie that hugged her model body. Addison stepped away as, Melissa got closer. Melissas eyes continued to grow as dark as the midnight sky,
"What makes you believe that you’re special enough to be the only one she’s ‘talking’ too?" Melissa stated in a dark voice, "Who’s to say she isn’t talking to her ex, again? Or some other broad from work, or that girl from Colorado. Who’s to say that, the entire time you two were fucking with love, she didn’t go off, and fuck that pilot? What about the time the pilot took her out, and she blacked out for the whole night? I bet that bitch drugged her and got into her pants." Addison froze at Melissa’s acusations. Melissa laughed quietly,
"I know you think of these things, too, Addison. I know, especially lately, you feel she’s talking to other girls, or she’s begining to talk to her ex again. I look at your depressed little eyes, and I can see the thoughts leaking out in your pathetic tears. When you’re sleeping next to me, I feel your body shake, and I know that’s when you’re having a nightmare about her being with her ex. You shake, becuase you’re terrified of her going back to that shitty lifestyle. When you’re having a nightmare about the other one, you tense up, and squeeze whatever your hand is holding, which is generally your fucking body parts. Am I wrong?" Addison didn’t answer. She simply looked down at the floor, and watched her tears fall to the carpet,
"You think I don’t know you at all? You think I keep you around so I can have someone to sleep next to, and play house with? No, Addison. I actually know you a lot more than you think I do. What makes you think that when you two get together, she won’t fall for someone else? Huh? What are you going to do with yourself if she moves to Colorado? You’re going to fucking die without her here, aren’t you? You are going to be so miserable, I can already tell. Why do you get yourself in these fucked up situations? You must enjoy this pain."
"Stop it." Addison wept, "Please, stop it, Melissa. This isn’t cool of you, at all." Addison became so overwhelmed with tears, that her words were hard to come by. It’s true. Everything that, Melissa, stated is very true. Addison feared, daily, that this girl was going to go back to dating, or forming feelings for her ex. Addison feared, and became extremely jealous, of the pilot, because she knows how easy it is to fall for them and their vast yearning for spontaneous adventure. Addison fell for it multiple times with, Melissa,
"You don’t know me, Melissa. You know the things that make me weak, but you don’t know any of the good things about me." Melissa approached, Addison, closely, and whispered in her ear,
"I know all of your dirty little secrets, and insecurities. You know I can easily go to her FBO, and woo her into my bed. I can make her fall more in love with me than she’ll ever be with you, at least then you wouldn’t have to worry about her ex, or the Colorado pilot." Addison went to shove, Melissa, away form her, but Melissa pushed, Addison, into the dresser with all the candles on it. Melissa pushed, Addison, hard. Addison’s back hit the dresser, and every handle on it. The candles fell off the top of the dresser, and fell on, Addison’s hand,
"Fuck." Addison shreiked as she started to scratch off the burning wax from the top of her hand. Tears continued down her face at the pain, and the thought of the nasty bruises that were going to be all over her back,
"This is what happens when you use me."
"How the fuck am I using you? You invited me over! You always invite me over!" Addison yelled with nothing, but anger in her heart. She trusted, Melissa, to not get violent again. Trusting, Melissa, isn’t the best thing to do,
"This is what happens when you put a worthless piece of human being before me. I actually care about your pathetic ass, for whatever reason, unlike she does."
"Oh fuck off, Melissa. You don’t care at all." Addison got to her feet, and blew out the remaining candles just in case, "If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have laid hands on me last year, and you wouldn’t be doing any of this now. I care about her, and when she tells me things about her pilot, or her ex, I listen and console her, and give her helpful advise. Even though, in my head I am thinking, ‘Oh the bitch is going to double cross you again, and hurt you again, don’t do it. I’ve been there, done that. Doesn’t work.’ I am there for her making her comfortable, and as happy as I can get her. I’m not yelling at her, raping her, and beating her!"
"Raping, huh?" Melissa laughed. She walked over to Addison, and put her hands on, Addison’s waist, carefully pushing her to the side of the bed,
"You thought I was trying to rape you?"
"Melissa, I do not want to have sex with you. I won’t."
"What police officer is going to look at me, and believe you?" Melissa said coldly. She’s right, though. Addison is nothing compared to, Melissa. Melissa is stunning, and picture perfect. Addison is below average comapred to her.
Before, Addison, could argue back, Melissa shoved their lips together. Melissa’s hand held the back of, Addison’s head sternly in place so, Addison couldn’t pull away. Melissa’s hand that rested on, Addison’s waist, squeezed hard. Addison could feel the bruise forming already.
Melissa lead, Addison, back to the bed. In attempts to get, Melissa, away without getting hit again, Addison bumped her legs on the sides of the bed. The middle of her leg caught on the corner of the metal piece on, Melissa’s, bed frame, cutting, Addison’s, leg. Ultimately, she gave up, and flopped down on the bed. An idea formed in, Addison’s head.
Addison tugged on, Melissa’s strap and pulled her in closer. Addison began kissing, Melissa, harder. Melissa’s body instantly grew hotter as, Addison, intensified the kissing. Addison’s shaken, bleeding hand trailed, Melissa’s, familiar body, as the other hand firmly gripped the back of, Melissa’s, hair. Addison bit, Melissa’s, lower lip. A moan escaped out of Melissa’s mouth, and dripped onto, Addison’s lips. Melissa’s nails violently dug into, Addison’s aching back, dragging them the whole length of her body.
The moan, and the scratching, brought the ‘girl’ to, Addison’s mind. How Addison wished it was the ‘girl’, and not, Melissa. How Addison wished she could nibble the soft lip of the girl in her heart, and not the lip stick covered mouth that was nastily trailing her body. Addison wanted so badly to hear the moan from the ‘girl’ that made her sex crave more, and more, not this turn of groan from her rapist friend. Addison longed for the ‘girls’ soft, safe hands scratching her back sexily, not this painful torture she experienced coming from, Melissa.
Addison didn’t ever think sex with, Melissa, would be so terrible. Yes, Addison, has wanted to have sex with her since they met, but now that, Addison’s, heart isn’t hers anymore, it doesn’t appeal to her. Addison isn’t turned on by her touch, or the seductive voice. She’s instantly grossed out by the acts. The only one she can imagine, or would want to have anything with, is the ‘girl’ she so loves.
Melissa dragged her sex across, Addison; causing another grotesque moan to escape through, Melissa’s, vigorous lips. Addison cupped, Melissa’s, bum, and pulled, Melissa, into her arms. Addison picked up, Melissa, and tossed her on her back into the bed. Melissa giggled,
“See. I told you that you’d want this.” She said in a seductive voice,
“I knew you’d come to terms with the fact that you’ll never have the bitch as a girlfriend. You’re always going to be the one she wish she had, but the one she never cared enough about to peruse fully, because of how pathetic you are.”
Tears filled, Addison’s, dark eyes. The realization stung. What if, Melissa, was right? She was right about, Deena being controlling, and right about, Jessica, being a cheater. What if she’s right about this girl, too?
The thought trailed off to never having a family with this girl. Addison didn’t want a family, unless its to be with the ‘girl’. If, Melissa, is right, that means, Addison, will never ge her happy ending. She’ll never be with the girl of her dreams, and she’ll never have the family that she knows will make her happy, and make the girl happy,
“Don’t call her a, bitch. That’s rude. You know, the only reason you’re so cruel to her, is because you know I would do anything for her. It kills you that I won’t do the same for you. It kills you knowing that I am not wrapped around your filthy finger anymore. Fuck you.” Addison muttered into, Melissa’s, ear,
“I’m leaving.” Addison quickly got to her feet, and stormed out before, Melissa, could get up.
When, Addison, reached the kitchen table to grab her belongings, she ran into, Summer, Melissa’s roommate. She was lounging on the bar stool, reading a book,
“Hit it and quit it?” Summer asked non-chalantly,
“Something like that.” Addison whispered. Summer looked up at, Addison, and gasped,
“Ohmygod! What happened to your face?!” When, Summer, approached, Addison, she noticed her hand,
“Ohmy god! Your hand! It’s bleeding! Are you okay? What happened?!”
“I don’t want to discuss it. May I leave?” Addison asked with tears in her eyes. Summer took a few steps back as Addison’s broken words reached her,
“Of course, Addison.” She answered quietly. Before, Addison, walked out the door, Summer asked her a quiet question,
“Did she hit you, too?” Addison stood there quietly for a moment. Melissa has hit, Summer, before. Back in high school when they were arguing about a boy. To this day, it still hurts, Summer,
“She did more than hit me, hun. She hurt me. No more.”
“I understand. It was nice to know you.”
With those last words, Summer slowly shut the garage door behind Addison. Addison drove out of the housing complex, and stopped at the red light in the corner,
“She’s never going to be with me.” Addison whispered to herself, “I’m not good enough for her. I don’t have a decent enough job, and I can’t motivate her enough to do something amazing. She’s sick, and I can’t make that pain go away. She’s lost, and I can’t help her find herself. She’s hurting, and I can’t make her hurt any less. I’m a failure as a friend, and there’s no way I could be any better as her girlfriend, or wife. Melissa’s right. She’s going to go back to her ex, and we are never going to have our time, because I’m not good enough to have an angel like her. Ever.”
The light turned green, but, Addison stayed in that spot, and began to cry the hardest she’s ever cried before,
“You’re not worthy. You’ll never be worthy.” She cried to herself,